Tuesday, March 08, 2005

Forty-Day Immersion: Day 21

The world is unprincipled. It’s dog-eat-dog out there! The world doesn’t fight fair. But we don’t live or fight our battles that way - never have and never will. 10:4 The tools of our trade aren’t for marketing or manipulation, but they are for demolishing that entire massively corrupt culture. 10:5 We use our powerful God-tools for smashing warped philosophies, tearing down barriers erected against the truth of God, fitting every loose thought and emotion and impulse into the structure of life shaped by Christ. 10:6 Our tools are ready at hand for clearing the ground of every obstruction and building lives of obedience into maturity. 2 Corinthians 10:3-6, The Message

Day 21

Loose thoughts, emotions and impulses. I am in a season of wrestling with those, right now.

Not rough things, or even inappropriate things. Those aren’t the problem. The problem is a sloshing over of things that should be left up to the Lord to handle. Things that are currently beyond me to change, or even impact, at least directly. Things that are in other people’s lives.

These are things that are not currently fitted into the structure of life shaped by Christ. I am fighting hard to leave them alone, let the Lord work with them, and use that free space that should be available for other things in my mind and life that I can effect.

It is not easy.

If I’m honest about it, I think it may be an issue of faith. It feels like the man who came to Jesus about his son who was in terrible shape, overwhelmed with problems. The broken-hearted dad told Jesus, “Lord, I believe. Help my unbelief.”

My son is doing fine - this isn't about him. But its hard not to feel the same emotions when its a situation about people for whom you care deeply.

Brokenheartedness is not limited to our little biological family, people sharing our DNA. It extends out into our circles of relationships, which is how it should be. What would it be like if we only could have a broken heart for members of our own households? That would be a cold, cold planet.

I pray. I tell God, “Lord, this is breaking my heart. I know I could help. I know I could make a difference. Why isn’t it working?”

The Lord remains silent. This isn’t up to me. Its not my turn, its not my time to help.

I need to back off, continue to pray hard for the situation, and . . .

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . wait.

I need to be ready, when – or realistically, if – the opportunity comes to make a contribution.

If I don’t Let It Go, really, I won’t be spiritually prepared if/when the opportunity does arise.

I suppose that if I don’t corral all of those loose thoughts, emotions and impulses back into the structure of My Life, shaped by Christ, that the things in which I could make a difference, outside of the difficult situation, will begin to be negatively impacted, too.

So – what’s my move?

Lord, I apologize. Forgive me. I was on my timetable and my agenda, not Yours. I am backing out of those areas that are Yours. Thank You for the reminder that prayer is getting it done, too. I knew that, but to be honest, I guess I was in a rush.

I know that You will do the right thing, and that You already are – on a lot of levels that are beyond my understanding.

I’ll be focusing on being ready for the time when I can play a part.

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